


All On His Mouth Like Liquor

by hale_hounds



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Beyonce - Freeform, Derek tucking Stiles in, Drunk Stiles, Drunken Singing, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Ridiculousness, Singing, a lot of Beyonce, like so many Beyonce song references, sterek's mutual love for Beyonce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 17:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1477600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hale_hounds/pseuds/hale_hounds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles gets drunk. Stiles sings Beyonce. Somehow Derek puts up with his shenanigans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All On His Mouth Like Liquor

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic and had a lot of help and support from my best friend and soulmate, Anica. You can find her on her tumblr anicacruzer.tumblr.com

Derek's almost asleep when he hears the front door slam open. He turns his phone over to read the time. It's late. Very late. Downstairs he finds an apologetic Scott and a too drunk to walk Stiles tangled in his arms. "Looks like Danny's birthday was a smash" Derek says flatly. 

"You could say that," Scott grins as he allows Stiles to flop onto the couch. "Everyone got pretty hammered. A lot of cake and a lot of booze." Derek nods marginally, about to thank Scott for dropping Stiles off. But then Stiles is humming and trying to do what looks like dancing on the couch, while horizontal. "Yeah, I'm just gonna go now." Scott moves to pat Stiles' shoulder. "See ya buddy." 

"Bye-o Scotty-o" Stiles attempts to wave, really it's just his hand in the air. Derek doesn't know why Stiles is giggling but he's giggling. "SURFBORDT. SURFBORDT. HE MONICA STILINSKI ALL ON MAH GOOOoooown... HELLO," and Stiles is full on cracking up. "Derek baby, isn't Beyonccccc..Beyonce great? Well, actually I don't have to ask you, I know how much you love her. SHE IS AN AMOEBA" his face scrunches up after the word comes out.

"You mean enigma?" Derek tries.

"NO.. I mennn-T. She's a queen. And you're MY king. BUT YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME FOR HER, OKAY?! I can sing just ass... Just as good as her.... and my butt is better."

"Is that so?" Derek smirks. He really wants to see where this might go.

Stiles grabs for Derek's arm and plants him on the couch, clumsily, right beside him. "You're in for a treats bae" he says "you ready for a SNOW!!"

"I'm not exactly sure" Derek quips.

"Wee woke up in teh kitchens sayin' howdehelldiweend up like thish OH BAYBUH.. CRAZY IN LOOoooOOve. Ooh SURFBORDT… Wait, no, yeah that s-sounds about right... Right? Whatever," Stiles continues to belt notes out and at one point he’s singing Gaga. "That wash Sexx Dreams not Sweet Dreams. Where was I?!?!" He asks frantically

"I honestly don't know." Derek has to take Stiles' performance seriously. Or at least try.

He's failing.

"It took me like… 45 minutes teh get awwll dress uP" Stiles popping the "p" and cackling again. "It doesn't take me 4 to 5 minutes to get all dressed up. It takes me—" his face contorts to one of confusion as he continues on "babe....................."

"Yeah?"

"BABE..."

"What Stiles?"

"How long does it take me to get all dressed up?" Stiles asks in all seriousness. 

"I'd say about ten minutes, Stiles" Derek laughs and now Stiles is laughing along.

"You have a cute.. Laugh.. Well. It's not really a laugh. You giggle! Sorta like a Taiwanese school girl" and Stiles is confused again "Japanese school girl? You laugh-gh like.. A school girl. DO YOU HAVE THE SKIRT TO MATCH! I bet Beyonsshhe has matching skirts and they're all amoebas like her. But guess what Derk... Her laugh isn't as cute as yours. I mean YAAAAAH she's pretty buh she ain't no Derk Hale. SHE AIN'T THE KING OF MY WHITE CASTLE BURGERS... She ain't." Stiles raises his hand for a high-five. Derek's not slapping five. "You can run and tell. THAT."

"Are you done?"

"Nooooope............. Surfbordt." Stiles giggles "I thsink I'm done now."

After Derek reins in his laughter he hauls Stiles onto his back. "PIGGGGY RIIIDES... Wolf rides." Stiles cheers. Derek can feel Stiles’ low humming where his face is smooshed against Derek's neck. "We be all night," he repeats until Derek's got him sitting upright on the bed. He settles between Stiles' knees to untie the laces of his shoes. Stiles places a palm to Derek's hair and Derek looks up at his very inebriated boyfriend. "Are we gonna make love like Beyoncé said? WE BE ALL NIGHT!!" And then Stiles collapses back onto the bed. Derek huffs to himself as he gets the other shoe off along with his jeans.

It's a struggle getting his gross shirt off because Stiles won’t stop patting at his face, slurring compliments about it. "Watermelon" Stiles whispers as he begins to doze off. "Just like your lipshs bae. Sweet like…yours,” his whispered mumbling fades into deep, even breathing. Derek's finally got him into a shirt that doesn’t reek of alcohol and tucked into bed. He gathers Stiles clothes in his arms and can't help but sing Drunk in Love as he makes his way to the bathroom.

"Boy I'm dranking... Watermelon" Derek softly sings as he dumps Stiles clothes in the hamper. He returns to the bed and settles next to his knocked out Stiles.

"You so love Beyoncé." Stiles mumbles. 

Derek grins and kisses Stiles' cheek and says "mm but I love you more". 

"Damn right you do." Stiles slurs before he knocks out cold.

If Derek goes to bed grinning like a fool and having every Beyoncé song stuck in his head that's his business.

\-------

The next morning Stiles wakes up sporting a throbbing headache and a bad case of morning breath. Whoever said Jack Daniels, jaeger shots, and vanilla ice cream cake was a good idea was a fucking liar. And like every hangover after a party, Stiles promises to never drink again. And like every time he promises never to drink again, a single party with cheap drinks breaks him.

He heads downstairs for some much needed aspirin and coffee and stops in his tracks when he hears Beyoncé on the Sonos. Stiles finds Derek in his usual cleared spot in the living room, with his usual gorgeous self, doing sit ups.

"Morning Peaches." Derek smirks as he sits up again after another. The smug bastard. He's probably on his thousandth sit up too. Show off.

"I hate you so much right now" Stiles lies.

Derek laughs into a sit up and braces his elbows on his knees. "Love you like XO, babe" he says as Stiles rolls his eyes and shuffles off to the kitchen. He can hear Derek humming along to 'Mine' in the living room as he preps the coffee machine. Beyoncé ain't the king of his White Castle. Derek's the king and the fool of his castle and Beyoncé can run and tell that.

**Author's Note:**

> The songs that inspired this fanfiction are mostly from Beyonce's self-titled album. Listen to it! It's amazing! Also Girls Love Beyonce by Drake.


End file.
